FASTER CAT FASTER

BEVERLY HILLS KNITES

DAD, YOU'RE EMBARASSING ME

CUT IT OUT!

courtesy of (((((((!!!!))))))

NITE SHIFT 1/28/2010

NITE SHIFT 1/27/2010

WHIPLASH

SKINHEADS VS. TONE

let's see how long before youtube pulls this one... vintage Tone. if you actually listen, is it actually offensive?

COOLER ONLINE

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a sci fi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online!

CHANNEL ZZ TOPP

EMAIL FEMALE

Given up on tryin' to meet real-life women
With what they put me through, I couldn't see no future with 'em
So I bought a computer set
And I got on the Internet
And headed out for a little taste of CyberLivin'

Well I found me a Users Group for the sad and lonely
Where they don't even care if you're skinny, bald or homely
There were thousands to choose from
But I was lookin for a special one
And I finally found my precious one-&-only...

She's my email female
We fit perfectly
We practice safe sex
Electronically
She's my email female
She knows what words to say
So I plug in with her every night
From two time zones away

We're always so relaxed around each other
And I never get surprise visits from her mother
I could be sober or drunk
Or I could smell just like a skunk
And the message on the screen still reads, "Howya doin', Lover!"

She's my CyberHoney, she's the one I chose
Cause I know with her, anything goes
I never need to change the sheets
Hell I don't even have to brush my teeth

She's my email female
She knows what words to say
So I plug in with her every night
From two time zones awaaay

NITEWALKERS

'MOS

NITE TRIP: SLOW MOTION

It was the summer of 2010, I had no where to go but to LA to pick up Jason Gillis. The plane was still parked at LaGuardia and Schwarzenegger was still front man for Cali.

We were gonna meet up and drive back to New York to shoot the first season of Hell Jail. The only thing we had firmly decided on was that the format of the show would change over time. The only possible unifying thread would be the alternate title for each episode (slated as NITE DADS ###)

HELL JAIL 219: NO MOON ABOVE

BLOOD FANCY